Hyena Perspective of the Timid Rabbit, Week 2 Story
THIS STORY IS NOW APART OF MY PORTFOLIO
My name is Bruce, I am a wild hyena. If there is one thing I can tell you about the wild, it’s that everyone is real cliquey. The elephants and the giraffes are good friends, the monkeys and lions love each other and so on. So not too long ago, I struck up a deal with the monkeys that we could split any fruits that I found, if they would let me know when they see a rabbit I could hunt. Everything was going great until I found myself a little extra hungry one day, so I ate all the fruits that I found, breaking our deal. Simply put, I think I just tend to get a little greedy when I’m hungry. But anyway, the monkeys were ticked at me after that. However, I didn’t think much of it until one day I spotted a rabbit who looked like he was in a deep thought under a palm tree, which was a perfect time for me to ambush him. Ill remind you that I hadn’t eaten in days, so I was thrilled. I began to creep up closer to him. Then, all the sudden the monkeys dropped a coconut on his head! He quickly sped off. Next, more rabbits joined in. I thought I was going to have a buffet! But I was wrong. A stampede broke out. I tried to bite at the rabbits, but it wasn’t worth my effort with giant elephants in the way. After the stampede halted, I made my way back to the tree to wait for the rabbit to return. However, when he made his way back, I should’ve known that those monkeys had their good buddy Mr. Lion to accompany the rabbit. I howled and ran off as fast as I could! When I was a safe distance I could hear the lion and the rabbit talking about some lesson that they had learned. I had learned one as well, I shouldn’t have been so greedy.
My name is Bruce, I am a wild hyena. If there is one thing I can tell you about the wild, it’s that everyone is real cliquey. The elephants and the giraffes are good friends, the monkeys and lions love each other and so on. So not too long ago, I struck up a deal with the monkeys that we could split any fruits that I found, if they would let me know when they see a rabbit I could hunt. Everything was going great until I found myself a little extra hungry one day, so I ate all the fruits that I found, breaking our deal. Simply put, I think I just tend to get a little greedy when I’m hungry. But anyway, the monkeys were ticked at me after that. However, I didn’t think much of it until one day I spotted a rabbit who looked like he was in a deep thought under a palm tree, which was a perfect time for me to ambush him. Ill remind you that I hadn’t eaten in days, so I was thrilled. I began to creep up closer to him. Then, all the sudden the monkeys dropped a coconut on his head! He quickly sped off. Next, more rabbits joined in. I thought I was going to have a buffet! But I was wrong. A stampede broke out. I tried to bite at the rabbits, but it wasn’t worth my effort with giant elephants in the way. After the stampede halted, I made my way back to the tree to wait for the rabbit to return. However, when he made his way back, I should’ve known that those monkeys had their good buddy Mr. Lion to accompany the rabbit. I howled and ran off as fast as I could! When I was a safe distance I could hear the lion and the rabbit talking about some lesson that they had learned. I had learned one as well, I shouldn’t have been so greedy.
Bibliography: The Foolish, Timid Rabbit. Jataka Tales by Ellen C. Babbitt.
Authors Note: The original story is about a rabbit is wondering what would happen to him if the world were to break up. Then, all of a sudden, a few monkeys drop a coconut on his head, which he mistakes for the world breaking up. He runs away in panic and begins a stampede that is also in panic. Before things get too chaotic, the brave lion who is the king of the beasts, puts an end to there fears. He walks the rabbit back to his tree post and shows the rabbit that everything is fine.
I really enjoyed how you tied the stories together towards the end. It took me until the second to last sentence to realize this was a spin-off of the foolish rabbit story. It gave a fun explanation of why the coconut fell in the first story, and the idea of a bunny stampede made me laugh. Overall, great story- very creative and well written!
ReplyDeleteHi Ruben!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story and I like how you told it from the Hyena’s perspective. I also thought the story was very humorous and fun to read. I think it was cool that you ended the story with the Hyena also learning a valuable lesson. I can’t wait to see what other types of stories you write and I’m looking forward to reading them this semester!
Hi Ruben!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a fun turn around! I don't think I would've ever expected to see this story from the perspective of a different animal. Usually, you just see the same story with a different animal, like chicken little. I think it shows that everyone sees things differently. We all have different perspectives, and we all learn different lessons at different times from different things. I think this could probably be done to a lot of stories, viewing them from one step back, with a very interesting effect.
Hi Ruben!
ReplyDeleteI thought the ending of your story was brilliant. I loved that you combined the plot of the original story and your own story. Its similar to what a lot of great authors do when they "world build", that as layers of stories to give their main plot more depth. I also really liked the your hyena character and thought it provided a nice compliment to the original rabbit character. I really enjoyed your story and look forward to reading more!
-Elizabeth
Ruben,
ReplyDeleteThe Hyena Perspective was so clever and funny! I loved how you made this like a casual conversation with the readers; it wasn't formal or wordy. The casual language and slang made it seem like the hyena actually was talking while I was reading this to myself. A couple things I might change would be the structure of the paragraphs. The story flows well, so I feel like it would really improve if you began with a mini-introductory paragraph about the jungle animals and background on the main character. Then, you could create a pause-effect before the story began by creating a whole new paragraph when you begin talking about when Bruce made a deal with the monkeys.
Also, adding more imagery and descriptions of the animals and the plot line would add another dynamic to this story; since readers are already imagining this being told by a hyena, you should add more of the things he sees or comes across.
This story idea was great, and I can't to read more of your stories as this class progresses!
Ruben,
ReplyDeleteI read this story as well and almost did my first story over the same one. I like how you changed up the story a little bit but still kept the storyline pretty much in tact. I really like how you still gave the story a very good life lesson to support the beginning of the story. I think I often find myself being a little too greedy and struggle with the fact that doing things for others can often be better for yourself. Greed is a trait all of us have been subject to falling into and it is a trait that most people regret. It makes people lose their sense direction and personal compass. I wonder what would of happened if the hyena would of not been so greedy and did what he promised to do from the start. I think the end of the story would of been much different for him.